For Yoga Teachers Only

Lately, I have been reading quite a bit of commentary online reminding us all that the practice of yoga is about more than just doing the poses. At the same time, there has been an increase in posts of beautiful poses on FB and Instagram. Yogis these days are very adept and proud of it. We seem to love showing off our accomplishments, and clearly people love to see them. With these two seemingly contradictory messages, one can only imagine how confusing this could be for students who want to learn more about yoga. Do I have to be thin, fit, acrobatic? Will I get hurt if I go to a class? Can everybody do handstands? What is the purpose of yoga anyway?

I feel that it is ultimately up to us, the teachers, the ones who offer this great practice to others, to do our part to help steer the perception of yoga on to a more balanced course. Most of us come to teaching from a place of overflowing gratitude. Yoga has changed our lives in some way, and from that place of gratitude we desire to give back, to pass that possibility on to others so they can find their own transformation. Amidst all the gorgeous pose photos and festivals and colorful clothing that draw students in in the first place, there is something that yoga offers that is unique and the most beneficial in the long run. What is that something? It is probably a bit different for each individual. For me, it has been developing the ability to listen to, trust in and follow my own inner wisdom. My personal GPS. My higher Self. Beyond all the poses and the physical benefits of the practice lies this true gem.

We teachers have the power to convey this deeper wisdom to our students by incorporating simple spiritual themes when we teach our classes. There are many different types of yoga offered these days in all types of venues. Some classes are only 1 hour long and do not include time for chanting or discussion of any kind. Some classes barely have time for any quiet sitting such as meditation, deep breathing or savasana. Still, there is a way to offer some spiritual wisdom and inspiration to hungry students.

Find inspiration and bring it to your classes. You may know a poem that inspires you, or a book that you are finding helpful. Perhaps there is a story you saw posted on Facebook that touches your heart. I feel that the juiciest themes come from one’s own personal experiences. That said, we need to be cautious about turning our classes into therapy sessions. Students do not appreciate or learn from having to listen to us vent or share our problems all the time.

Are you interested in developing your teaching to the point where you can inspire your students spiritually as well as physically? If so, take some time to ponder whatever is happening in your life and then see if you can find the lessons that Life is asking you to learn from that experience. Study the teachings of great ones such as the Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron, Byron Katie, Maya Angelou, Jack Kornfield and Eckhart Tolle. Their wisdom is offered in a way that is succinct, timeless and powerful.

Some examples of teachings that are applicable to yoga are:

  • Take personal responsibility for one’s life in all ways.

  • If you argue with reality, you lose.

  • Rise up from victimhood and be the change you want to see.

  • Learn how to be the observer so you can come from a place of responding rather than reacting.

  • Become aware of your tendency toward Fight or Flight syndrome that is often stress related.

These topics are just the tip of the iceberg as far as what is available to us online and in books. If you can learn how to deliver a message without sounding like a preacher, people will appreciate it. They took the time to come to class, let’s give them a complete experience: body, mind and soul.

Seeing Things From a Different Point of View

 

There is a fable about six blind men who are introduced to an elephant. Each man touches a different part of the elephant and based on that, thinks he knows what it looks like. The man who touches the ear is certain that the animal is like a hand fan. The one who touches the tail proclaims that it looks like a rope. And so it goes with each of the six men having a totally different experience and descriptions of the same thing.

Like the blind men, most yoga teachers, myself included, err on the side of teaching only from their own body and perspective.  If we continue teaching over a long period of time, our own physical experience will change. We might shift to another part of the elephant and start teaching from an entirely different point of view.

For 2 ½ decades I have been intensively studying alignment-based methods of Hatha Yoga so that I might understand the bodies of my students and better assist them with their own practice. What keeps me passionate in this work is constantly finding that there is still so much more to learn.

Recently I have had some challenges with one of my shoulders. Injury has always been a great teacher for me, helping me broaden my awareness. With my understanding of anatomy and alignment, and guidance from  the specialists I have seen, I have been able to work constructively with this recent pain and have had some great new insights for helping others. Dealing with pain forces us to pursue new directions and it is in the midst of working with it that we find our most profound growth.

With every passing year, I am even more grateful for my practice. Like the blind men in the story, I used to see yoga from only my vantage point. In having its way with me, Yoga has opened my eyes moment by moment to a broader understanding physically, emotionally and spiritually. I hope to see you on the mat soon so we can continue our ever evolving journeys together.

 

Reflections on Motherhood for Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a bittersweet celebration of motherhood for me. It is a celebration of the life I brought into this world, and a reminder of the life that was taken from it. When we fall under the spell of motherhood, we are so elated by the idea of this life we are going to bring into the world – this external representation of ourselves. We do not think about how fragile life truly is, how quickly it can be taken from us. Instead, we dream about it – ‘Will he have my smile? My husband’s laugh? Will she be smart and clever, kind and caring?’

We build space for this creation in our own lives. We transform a room in a house, complete with bassinet, rocking/feeding chair, baby monitor, and nightlight, and softly colored walls and linens. We create time that right now is filled with naps and morning sickness but will soon be filled with diapers and middle of the night feedings, and a little later, tying shoes and kissing skinned knees. We create space in our hearts for this little person that is going to fill every square inch and then he will grow and change and force us to keep making the space bigger for him or her.

Children teach us how to love unconditionally, an almost foreign concept in our society. This very unique way of loving another person is easier between parent and child because they are an extension of us. We learn to care for someone else and put his or her needs ahead of our own. They teach us patience. They keep us aware, awake and responsible. They challenge us and push us to our limits and teach us that we need to learn to set boundaries. Finally, they teach us how to love fiercely and let go, the hard lesson of non-attachment, though most of us parents remain completely attached for a lifetime to these mini-me people. No matter how old they are, they are our babies.

Logically and chronologically, we start out as their caregivers, teachers and advisors, but in time, the tables turn and it is we who rely on them for guidance and care. Having children results in a thorough transformation of the mind and heart and in most cases, the sacrifices made cannot fully be appreciated until one has a child of their own.

My children taught me how to love with every bit of my heart and then how to surrender control. My son, by leaving the planet at age 20, challenged my faith and my spirit. His untimely and tragic departure forced me to work hard to understand life and death at a higher level. I had to learn how to see him and his sister as separate souls on their own journeys, rather than my creations or my possessions. My daughter continues to teach me to be courageous and have faith in life. To trust the process. She does not live under a cloud of fear, but seizes the opportunity to live her life to the fullest. She suffered deeply at the age of 18 when she lost her 20 year old brother and now, 10 years later, she lives her life in a way that honors him. 

I am so grateful for both of my children – grateful for the lessons of how precious life is and that even in our darkest moments, we CAN choose to survive.  

Mothers, hold your babies tight and be grateful for THIS moment. Soak it in, drink it up, pull it in to every cell of your body, memorize it as an imprint on your heart. Children, love your parents and forgive them as soon as possible. Learn from their mistakes and hold their misgivings with compassion. If you can find forgiveness and compassion in your heart for them, you will live and die without regret.

Finding Balance

In my last post, I shared my thoughts with you on making realistic, compassionate commitments to your Self: to your health, to your way of life, to your overall wellbeing. In essence, I was talking about finding balance – on your mat, and off it. I’d like to continue the conversation on balance.

I am very grateful for the life I have chosen. I used to stress about all the travel and the demands of teaching workshops every weekend. I felt guilty about spending so much time away from home, missing time with my family and local friends. People often asked me how was I planning to sustain this work with so much time away from home and all of the unpredictable realities of a demanding traveling career. At times, doubts and fears of failure, or even success, would creep into my mind. Sometimes this would turn into a sort of self-torture. Until I realized something – this is the life I asked for and co-created. I am very privileged to be able to travel the world, practice yoga in breathtaking locations, and share space with incredible people. I changed my attitude about this extraordinary life I am living, and everything about it, even the stressful stuff, became manageable.  Whatever happens, when things unexpectedly change, I can view them in a negative or in a positive light. While I don’t have control over all of these situations, I always have control over my responses to them.

I have learned to be patient with myself while making changes that have led me to a more easeful, balanced version of my life. We live in an era of ever-increasing instant gratification.  When someone else’s success inspires us, or a life-changing event rips us to the core, or we realize we need to take charge of our health, we may set out with big ideas of radical changes all at once. Lasting changes don’t work that way. My commitment to healthy eating and doing regular balanced exercise took practice and small steps of change. Letting go of rigidity, being grateful, even being patient with myself – gradually became a natural part of my daily life. Learning how to meditate, to simply sit and breathe, balanced out my natural urge to be busy and productive all the time.  As it turns out, some of my best meditation opportunities happen on airplanes, which is fortunate as I spend anywhere between 4 and 12 hours per week sitting still en route to somewhere else.

If you are making changes to habits you’ve had all or most of your life, retraining your mind to a new outlook will take time. Be kind to yourself when you make a misstep. It will happen. Let it. Even go so far as to prepare for the missteps, and when they occur simply forgive yourself and then move on. Dust yourself off and keep going. One would never scold a child because he/she is not learning how to crawl or walk fast enough. Love yourself and others in the same patient way as you would love a child learning a new skill.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.” – “The Teaching of Buddha,” by the Bukkyõ Dendõ Kyõkai

Yoga asana is a part of my life, it is a joy for me to practice and teach. But as we all know, yoga is much more than our time on the mat. Yoga is also about cultivating awareness, honesty, devotion and appreciation. It is about oneness with myself and with others. It is my joy to commit to this path again and again, each day, in every way possible, to the best of my ability.

Yoga is a Commitment to Your Self

Yoga is a Commitment to Your Self - Desiree Rumbaugh

I do not practice yoga poses every day.

I’m sorry if that information is discouraging to your perception of me as a yogi, but my life is just as hectic and unpredictable as yours. There are days when spending time on my mat just does not fit into my schedule. The nature of my teaching schedule has me out on the road quite often, and there are times when it is simply not convenient or even possible. But, do not mistake this for lack of commitment.

A yoga practice is about more than simply doing poses, pushing myself, breathing and sweating on a sticky mat. The fullness of a yoga practice is about how we live every other hour of our day, especially on the days when getting on one’s mat isn’t possible. By this I mean being honest with ourselves, and kind and helpful to others in our lives.

Here are some of the other commitments I have made to myself to support a healthy lifestyle whether or not I am practicing yoga postures.

I am committed to eating healthy no matter what situation I am in, where I am traveling, or how hungry I am. It might be as simple as a bottle of water and an apple because nothing else is available. The processed, fried, sugary, salty foods that are readily available in airports and street corner convenience stores are not only bad for me, I feel bad when I eat them. The satisfaction created by consuming unhealthy calories is so short-lived, it’s not even worth the guilt I feel for subjecting my body to them. So, I pack my own food whenever possible. If I am unable to do that (like when flying), I look for the healthiest choices, such as salads, soups and fresh fruit or vegetables, which are becoming increasingly easier to find everywhere. I also take a green supplement, such as chlorophyll, and probiotics daily to support my immune system.

It can be just that simple… eat what you know will fuel your body and avoid or limit everything else.

The next commitment will seem contradictory: I do my best to let go of clinging to rigid rules. Life is so fluid; adhering obsessively to absolutes can create ever more stress and imbalance. I once believed that as a yoga instructor I was supposed to practice yoga poses every day, no exceptions. What I gained in exercise, I lost in the creation of excess stress in trying to make it happen. Who benefitted from that rigidity? Not me.

Life balance, including a calmer mind, is an important part of being a yogi.  Eating healthy ‘no matter what’ may sound rigid, but it is relatively easy to do. It supports my body’s energy needs and keeps my mind much more steady. By staying with these commitments, I create the conditions for more peace and less suffering when I need to go a day or two or three (or more) without doing exercise or a yoga practice. I still stretch when I can, take the stairs instead of the elevator, and find other small fun ways to be physically active even when I am traveling. By letting go of trying to live up to my old perception of how a yogi is ‘supposed to be’ and instead, living into what being a yogi now means to me, a beautiful balance has been established.

Balance and commitment go hand-in-hand. Next time, I will talk more about that balance.

 

 

Yoga has taught me how to let go

Yoga has taught me to let go - Desiree Rumbaugh

Stepping onto a yoga mat for the first time, you quickly learn that if you are going to master this artistic activity, you are going to have to let go – of preconceived notions, the physical limits you set on yourself, the mental limits that keep you from reaching further, and the emotions that you hide or hide behind. Quickly, you learn that you will have to remind yourself to let go every single time you return to your mat.

You might come into yoga shy about your body or intimidated by some of the bodies around you. You might find that you are comparing yourself to other students in the room and feeling less than. Sooner or later, you learn that it feels better to let go of comparing yourself to anyone else in the room.

Every single body has a different story to tell and no one is judging you for yours, except maybe you.

The rest of the class is focused on what’s happening on their own mats, making sure they don’t fall over and crash into their neighbors. They don’t see that your shirt has ridden up and your belly fat is exposed. Negative body image syndrome is rampant in our culture and it is debilitating. If you’re so wrapped up in holding tightly to your negative body image, you will struggle to take chances, weaken yourself, and miss the full experience of doing yoga.

You have to let go of your mental limitations when you’re on your mat. Do you want that bind? That crow pose? Release yourself from the fear-based mindset that asks in doubt, ‘can I?’ and allow yourself the space and confidence of ‘I can’ to flow in. Seemingly impossible tasks can be handled one step at a time. The real reason you cannot bind may just be that you have tightness in your shoulders and upper back which first need to be opened. The truth of why the arm balances are so impossible might be that your core needs strengthening in all of your poses, arm balances just make that point clearer. The bigger the hurdle, the more there is to learn. Each apparent roadblock is actually a gateway towards learning something we need, but we first have to let go of the thought processes that prevent us from recognizing these simpler first steps.

Letting go emotionally is one of the most therapeutic pieces of yoga. As many of you know, yoga played a pivotal role in recapturing my joy following the sudden violent death of my son. When you are feeling grief, sadness, or depression, your mat is one of the safest places to go to release these negative emotions. The intense focus required to balance on one leg  in a standing pose or on your hands in an arm balance frees your mind from the ‘chitta vritti’, the unrelenting chatter, for even a moment. You can let go of the negative emotion that seems to shroud your heart and mind, and just be okay for one breath; on your mat, where it is safe, warm, quiet, and where your spirit is nurtured. In the midst of intense emotional pain, you will find your body expressing itself and letting go of what your heart is trying to hold on to so tightly. You would not be the first person to release the tears of emotional grief while lying in savasana; no one around you knows and your instructor will most assuredly understand.

The human body holds onto so much throughout its lifespan. Your muscles have a memory. Cells will hold on to toxins. The mind stores everything. The heart feels pain – and has the capacity for tremendous love. In my many years in yoga, and through my closest relationships, I have learned that it’s possible to let go of that which holds me back from being open to love and joy— the feeling states that humans seek most. I hope you can find a way to let go of whatever is holding you back and open yourself to more love and joy.

You deserve it.

Is it Possible to Love Unconditionally?

Colorado Estes park group

Is unconditional love between people really possible, or do we all place conditions on our love?

All close relationships begin with loving, open-hearted feelings flowing freely between people. Time passes, events happen, people disappoint each other and the love lessens. In some cases, it just grows a little dimmer, but sometimes it can turn to strong feelings of dislike or disdain.

We have all experienced this hardening of our hearts, shutting down in an effort to protect ourselves. Even though it doesn’t necessarily feel good, we find ourselves slipping into this place where we set limits on how much love we will show to another. Sometimes we want to define this closing of our hearts as setting healthy boundaries.

Of course we all need to set appropriate boundaries with a variety of people in our lives. Setting boundaries doesn’t have to mean harboring anger, resentment or bitterness towards another being, even if they hurt us directly. Great beings in history have already set this example for us.

We can release hard feelings and enjoy a more neutral relationship even with the most difficult people in our lives. This is the first step on the path to healing. We can hold our hearts open unconditionally in a loving way even with those whom which we choose not to spend time.

What happens to your heart when we shut down a part of it that used to be open to another? Do we suffer from hardening of the heart in a similar way to the pain and dis-ease we experience from hardening of the arteries?

Regardless of our philosophical beliefs, the fact remains that we are born and we die. During the time in between, we get to choose whether or not we want to keep our hearts open fully to all beings, past and present, and enjoy the experience of living joyfully.

We gain nothing by choosing to shut down. Even if we believe that the other person doesn’t deserve our kindness or good will, there is a way to release fear and negativity. We think that it gives us a bit of control over the situation to hold back our lovingkindness, when in fact, we have just surrendered our own power to an idea. If we have closed our heart to even one other person, we are the ones who ultimately suffer.

We can set our intention to keep our hearts open regardless of the actions of others or the events of our life or our world. We can process fully our negative feelings and then choose love, forgiveness and happiness. We can make it a practice and get better and faster at doing it.

In my travels, I have been fortunate to hear all kinds of stories and what I have learned is that people are the same all over the world. There are definitely cultural differences, but in our hearts, we all feel similar things. Everywhere I go I see that people are waking up to this possibility that a shift of heart is necessary. Grace moves so much more freely through people who have learned how to open the doors of their hearts towards others.

Our spiritual work is learning to live ever more skillfully in a way that helps us to manage negative stress, fear or melodrama more gracefully. I am grateful to have become connected to all of you who read this newsletter. You have touched me, I have grown. I am proud to be associated with you and will continue to support your expansion, unconditionally.

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React or Response?

superman

I became acutely aware of the difference between these two ways of being while on a Buddhist retreat in the year 2000. I was going through a divorce after a long marriage and was finding myself being constantly tested in this arena. Being of Mediterranean descent and having been raised in a way that it was perfectly fine for me to speak my mind, I found it easy to get things out in the open and off my chest verbally. Having several planets in Mars, my communication style has always been absolute and direct. It never seemed necessary to go through formalities when talking to people, such as asking them personal questions before delivering my message or asking my question. I would simply launch right into whatever it was I wanted to say and I felt good when I used as few words as necessary to get my point across.

In some ways, I suppose this was a good thing. I had a reputation for being honest and upfront with people, and yet it didn’t feel good to find out that my brutal honesty was sometimes also hurtful. I felt proud that I could “take it” when people were direct and confrontational with me, but I also noticed a big difference in the way I felt around people who were kinder, softer and more tactful.

superman2

E-mail is, I believe, a great way to practice learning these skills. It is better than the telephone because it gives us time to think before we press “send”. And yet e-mail is notorious for being misinterpreted and in addition, it can be in existence for perpetuity as it is the written word.

I have suffered this reality when people have dug up my old e-mails and sent them to me. It is undeniable, and indisputable.
Now that I am a bit older and perhaps wiser having learned so much the hard way, I give myself more time when I feel my emotions stirring in reaction to what another person is saying to me. Is this an attack or an opportunity, I ask. Most of the time, if I wait and breathe for awhile, I find it is a wonderful opportunity. It is as if Spirit is given a human voice, attempting to get through to me so I can wake up to something I am not yet aware of.

What is the deeper message and how is it really about me and not about them vs. me?

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